(Note: This post should be taken with the same seriosity…seriousness…seriousism as this…much love to my homies over in the CA crib :))
Dear Clear Admit,
I[we] just saw the recent nominations for Best Applicant Blogger, and I[we] have only one response:
You turd burgers. I’m[we’re] so mad right now, I[we] could punch your kidney, let it heal slightly, and then punch it again.
I[we] think you’ve TOTALLY underestimated the amount of time and effort I[we]’ve put into the incessant snark that’s vomited onto this webspace each fortnight. Do you realize how long it took me[us] to convince my[our] mom that posing for this photo — in the middle of London, nonetheless — would be the perfect remedy to the post-retirement blues? Do you think I[we] just…come up with these things while [collectively] reading Harper’s Bazarre and Cosmo on my[our] couch at home?
No. NO! I[we] take great, great pride in my[our] ability to go Carlos Mencia on the MBA Blogworld! Inspiration for the mom photo? Godzilla. Kickball tournament? Seven year-old child. I[we] spent countless minutes coming up with ideas to copy, you know!
See, look at me[us]. I’m so frazzled I[we] can’t stop referring to my[our]self[ves] in the third person. You’ve scuttled my[our] skillet o’ vittles!!
[kaff kaff] OK, better now.
Oh, so you say I don’t give out enough advice on the application front, eh? Perish the thought! I offer
some quite a bit INCESSANT information on the GMAT preparation philosophy I employ! Example?
Do: Make sure you participate in a healthy, relaxed extracurricular activity the eve before your exam.
DON’T: Schedule your exam THE DAY OF THE MICHIGAN-NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL GAME, THE DAY THE IRISH GOT PWNED. [Woo Benny Hill Theme!]
As you can see, my advice is indispens….um, good! I demand…no, I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE a recount, like, now. If you don’t….I WILL come after you.