You don’t realize how painful this is, do you.
As a Michigan fan, I really do not enjoy watching Ohio State win anything. If Ann Arbor is a woman of negotiable affection, as they say, then Columbus is an enslaving, egotistical conqueror of uncertain lands who doesn’t deserve a holiday. Eat it.
So imagine the horror when the Buckeyes took it to Georgetown on Saturday. Not only did those punks win (the nerve!), but they also effectively destroyed my bracket. Why?
Because no good Michigan alum would put Ohio State past the Elite Eight. No, sir. That’s like rooting for Jafar to marry Jasmine and enslave Aladdin for ev er. You make children cry by rooting for Ohio State.
As you can see from the following clip, Gators and Bush mix. I fear that if we ever allow a Buckeye to set foot on the White House lawn, life could effectively cease. It would be like mixing a nuclear weapon with sulfuric acid.
So I’m not going to watch; instead, I’ll be busy getting my fallout shelter prepared. Go Gators, the world is counting on you!