At some point during this weekend in Ann Arbor, GirlyGirl made the Sign language equivalent of “two year-old” to affirm my behavior in lots of certain situations.
Actually, most of the time I’m a relatively mature guy (*snicker*) and I know that she’s the only one that tolerates my random antics. And February 14th is the supposedly-christened day for me to be thankful for that — although I think the fact that she usually lovingly punches me in the arm or says “awwww” after I again emit a throat-rocking belch during the hockey game is enough to make me want to send her flowers and snuggleys.
So as I wait here patiently for an interview invitation from someone — ANYONE — and the novelty of a Duke admit subsides (because in all honesty, unless I get some financial lovin’ from Unnamed Large Aerospace Company(TM), I don’t think Duke’s a viable option), I started forming some parallels between relationships and the b-skool application process.
To put it simply, it’s like skewed courtship:
1. Person A visits Person B and discovers all that Person B has to offer.
2. During this visit, Person B basically says that the only way Person A can even consider dating him/her is by sending a letter and a sweet lil’ diamond ring/necklace/locket/dog collar.
3. Person A progresses to complete letter, also choosing to include two (or three) notes from friends claiming that Person A is a “swell guy”, a “fine old chap”, etc. etc.
4. Person A mails letter along with money. Person B responds to notify Person A that he/she will think about it and contact Person A in a few months.
5. Person A becomes a nervous wreck, wondering about how life would be with/without Person B. Person A refuses to ruffle Person B’s feathers…one slight step and he/she is back to square one.
6a. Person B finally replies. Yes, Person A is the man/woman for him/her. Person A is jubilant, looking forward to spending a considerable amount of time with Person B, as well as looking forward to spending incessant amounts of money on Person B. Person A proceeds to send a letter to PostSecret.
6b. Person B finally responds. After much thought and consideration, Person B has decided that Person A doesn’t fit his/her personality type, that his/her persona would be better off somewhere else. Oh, and Person B’s keeping the ring/necklace/locket/dog collar because it looks good on him/her/it. Person A proceeds to write a letter to PostSecret.
There’s something awfully masochistic about this, you know. Fortunately, GirlyGirl is the Anti-Person B…she reminds me that, thank God, some relationships don’t operate like the application process. And if you ever find yourself in a situation that mimics it, God rest your soul.