On Discrimination, Capitalism, and Candy Bars

Bless your heart, YouTube, for allowing me to peruse and even VOTE on this year’s rash of Super Bowl ads without even having to watch the game.

“But wait!”, you exclaim.  “m@, you’re the most ridiculous football fan I know!  You even threw HOT DOGS and accidentally elbowed GirlyGirl at the Iowa game this year!”  Both very true, but I boycotted this year’s bowl for reasons I no longer discuss out of respect for my Indianapolis compatriots.

Anyway.  So while checking out the ads I stumbled upon what has been deemed a verifiable hit by most critics…the SNICKERS ad:

Funny, right?  Maybe a little bit unnerving for some, but as a closet fan of Lady and the Tramp, I see the resemblance.

Apparently,  some organizations have never seen this Gem of Disney Films and decided to condemn the Snickers ad, claiming that the soft nougaty treat, er, the MAKERS of the soft nougaty treat, “promote and endorse this kind of prejudice”.

Pardon the interruption, but I see no discrimination.  I could take a random sampling of men and women across the board, ask them to disclose their sexual orientation as the variable, show them the video, and expect to find no trend in the approval or disapproval of the ad.  I’m frankly more turned off by the fact that one guy’s got albino chest hair.

The accusatory language GLAAD uses could unravel the very ad industry, turning every commercial into one that essentially makes every 30-second Super Bowl spot as engaging as an adult mobility scooter advert.  For example:

Pending protest from every foreign national everywhere: “That Bud Light, fans of cheap, urine-tasting beer and the NFL would promote and endorse this kind of prejudice is simply inexcusable.”

Pending protest from dentists and citizens who have suffered tooth decay: “That Coca-Cola, caffeinated junkies, and the NFL would promote and endorse this kind of prejudice is simply inexcusable.”

and of course,

Pending protest from anyone who has broken out into hives after watching a Robert Goulet film: “That Emerald Nuts, the evil spawn Goulet, and the NFL would promote and endorse this kind of prejudice is simply inexcusable.”

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